When a plant needs transplanting, we move it from one small pot into a larger one. As we do, we sense how tenaciously the root-bound plant clings for dear life to the ceramic walls before finally extricating itself. For about a week thereafter, the plant stands a-trembling, wondering if it dares risk a root or tendril. Once established in larger surroundings with its warm, moist soil, the plant overcomes the fear and sends out a leaf here or a frond there. Eventually, the plant finds its happy place: green and effulgent as ever.
People can be a lot like plants. Like the plant, we get rootbound in our ways and find it difficult to accept the time has come to move on.
In my office, “Risk the Change or Remain the Same,” are words encircling a monarch butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. The caterpillar risks exchanging the earthbound comfortable chrysalis for the greater change of the butterfly and flight. Butterflies bang their wings against the chrysalis walls to strengthen them for flight - in much the same way we undertake new actions for increased self-esteem.
Here are stepping stones to move through our necessary moments of change.
The first stepping stone is to Surrender. To ease up. To stop clenching up. Like telling a puppy, tell yourself, "Let Go." "Drop It." To Surrender does not mean to lose. To Surrender is to join the winning side. And who doesn’t want to join the winning side! 😊 That which we resist, persists. Like a Gordian Knot, the more we struggle the tighter the knot comes.
The second stepping stone is to Accept. Acceptance is surrender in action. To Accept does not mean we agree, like, or condone. What it does mean is we've stopped fighting, as we have through our first stone. Open to receive, we stand on our second stepping stone.
To PAUSE: Postpone Activity Until Serenity/Sanity Enters.
The third stepping stone is to Reframe. When we change how we look at things, what we look at changes. A shift in our internal world helps change our external world. We realize the only thing we can change is ourselves, and sometimes that's a real task! Like the plant, we become entrenched. World Champion of Public Speaking Dana Lamon, lost his eyesight as a boy. My friend's view continues to be, “I may have lost my sight, but I never lost my vision.”
When I reframed my stories of "failure" into ones of "experience," I had valuable information to share with the next person who might be hurting in much the same way. Past events or current challenges become empowering instead of devaluing or deflating. "I learned a valuable lesson" fosters growth, resilience, and a better future.
"Bless him. Change me.” With such a simple prayer as that, we find ourselves calming and centering – our attitude and outlook changes with such a simple benediction, which takes less than 5 seconds.
"We cannot change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust the sails."
Christine A. Robinson, Author: Confidently Speaking, The Speaker's Guide To Standing Ovations