Every now and then we need a blessing that’s NOT in disguise. We want that blessing front and center - not hidden in the background waiting to surprise us down the road. Even so, here’s a story of an unexpected blessing in disguise that really did pop up down the road.
There are times when our fisted feelings can hold onto a resentment like a child with a favorite rock. No matter how long, often, or hard we try, we just can’t open that fist. An experience turns into a grudge, turns into a resentment, turns into a desire to retaliate. All these rolled into one are what I’ve been dealing with over the past few months. Use the verbiage “dealing with,” and already there’s trouble. Someone’s trying to control. That someone was me.
The rock I glommed onto was toward a former friend/sponsee. Continual no show and disappointment became firm bedrock for the stream of unfulfilled words, “Call ya sometime,” and “See ya soon.” Rolling around in my head into a well-worn groove comes that merry-go-‘round of anger, resentment, retaliation. Prayed all our AA prayers. Used the Golden Key. Screamed my ass off. Walked a labyrinth. Lord Above! I called His Holy Name.
Then came The Truth Reminder, Desi-Lu. The answer to those prayers drove right up to the Cabin when relief was needed most.
Driving home after prayer time in the wilds of the Marin Headlands, the Inner Voice said, “Stop by the Cabin. Make sure everything is okay.” While standing in the doorway, up comes a large, white, blacked-out windowed SUV. The passenger was the most beautiful Mexican Woman I have ever seen. Exquisite. Radiant as the Sun and Moon together, she smilingly inquired if a bathroom was nearby. Seeing she was not an axe murderer and really needed help, I invited her into the Cabin.
The moment she stepped from the car, the lady pointed to my jade green heart pendant and said, “You are wearing my heart. You have my heart pendant. You have my heart.” Pointing to her own heart, sure enough dangled the mirror image of the one I was wearing. My 80-year-old pendant was my mother’s prized possession. Now the same green heart is before me round the neck of this perfect stranger, a woman in need.
Instant heart connection.
Upon entering the Cabin, she introduced herself as Desi-lu from Stockton. Then she said, “I don’t know how to tell you this, but Spirit tells me to tell you to drop the rock. Something is blocking you. There is a big blessing coming your way and you don’t want to miss it. If your fists are closed around this rock, they won’t be open to receive the blessing.”
“Let go of whatever it is you are holding onto. Drop the rock.”
Oh My God. This truth-talking angel dropped in from out of the blue and far way, not associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, to tell me exactly what I needed to hear. How could I tell?
Because I burst into tears. Desi-lu took me in her arms as I unleashed a waterfall of tears. Tears from awakening to what I thought was anger and resentment to discover a broken heart. A hurt heart. Resentment was covering grief. Relief and release came as she gently repeated, “Let it go. Let it go.” In this clasp, my hands were around her waist. I could feel the long black hair like a cape of running silk. A goddess was holding me, sobbing my eyes out.
As we exited, I recalled the meeting’s bounty of extra doughnuts. “Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?” She allowed as all they had were snacks for the lengthy journey home. The Back-To-Basics Meeting had all the basics, including sweet bread to see a body through.
We exchanged numbers. I hope to see her again soon. All I have to do is go to her Desilu Facebook page – to get a reminder of what was so desperately needed and so freely given. A broken heart was healed. The Love from the Cabin spilled out into the courtyard and on into eternity.
Thank you, Desi-lu.